(My first assignment with the Australian Institute of Tantra Training @ the sanctuary of Ananda)
Tantra to me is connection, intimacy, freedom and on a recent photo shoot in nature it meant to be butt naked by the ocean without caring about others around me, their judgements and being able to really connect; with myself, the photographer, a wave and a rock (I really loved this rock!).
Before I began this course I sat one night by my corner windows overlooking Australian bush land and asked myself:
What does it mean to be free?
What does it mean to feel empowered
My new business name of Sacred Sexuality depicting Sacred Love, Connection-to nature, to ourselves and to all those in the universe...
What does it mean to live in love, AS love?
This basic form of mind mapping led me to the answer of; it’s Tantra! And then I found this course! The flow at it’s best! Looking back, I remember class mates always whining ‘God Amanda it’s always about sex with you isn’t it!’ Even though I was a virgin. I came across as more experienced than what i was because I was fascinated with sex, mainly with French kissing, I just couldn’t understand the concept of pleasure from tongues and mouth (innocent me) and I’d stay up late watching programs in my bedroom hoping to catch some action sex scenes so I could learn about it. As horny teenagers we all go through that stage of curiosity, but I really feel it was the Soul Connection through physical touch I was craving to know. My busy single mum left me alone a lot and no-one discussed anything to do with anything about sexual expression or affection. The 80’s in England was a pretty suppressed society unless you were a punk rocker and I always felt ashamed of my overdeveloped body ahead of the rest of girls in my school. Then the magic happened.... ... My body became sexy! As a frisky adult I’ve dabbled in learning about sexual energies, read books on Tao, discovered my own sexuality and preferences and differentiated between healthy and toxic habits / boundaries. It came with it’s own trauma and shame and I went a little down the kink path but struggled to find partners I can trust and explore with.... until now. So it’s no co-incidence I feel in a special place to delve into this world and expand my consciousness so I can help others as a practitioner. What do I really want to gain from learning more about Tantra? Not only to deepen the connection I have with myself and others, but specifically channeling from an open heart space without judgment or prejudice whilst maintaining healthy boundaries. What I mean by this is better explained if I describe a previous experience at a tantric workshop. We had to eye gaze for ten minutes with a stranger. I knelt opposite a guy who once we started began sneering at me, winking, pouting his lips and undressing me with his eyes. The whole time I held a gaze with the energy of : “It ain't gonna happen so back off!!!” My energy felt gross, violated and full of rage as to how dare he do this! I later learnt from a friend of mine that he has this reputation and tries to hook up with every new female. It really put me off attending another workshop although I did go to another one run by someone else (I was overwhelmed and didn’t want any physical contact). It’s as if I am either completely wide open or wholly shut down (triggered?) with no levels in between. I really want to work on this so that healthy barriers are upheld, assertive and loving which would change the previous example’s conversation to: “I can see what you’re trying to do and I don’t like that so please stop now. I am willing to connect with you but lets do it from our hearts” As an energy worker through massage both myself in general and my hands especially have become super sensitive to others energy. Sometimes avoidance just doesn’t isn’t possible so learning to work within that space and set boundaries will protect me without having to shut down- I hope! Now as this course commences it’s as if everything in my life has been pointing to this direction- my mum learning TM since I was 5 with a lot of her teachings mentioned in the first webinar (Astral Planes), my journey since immigrating to Australia, my tattoo and resonating with Kali and my spirit guide a female wolf. All of the yoga and meditation retreats... the life lessons and recently trauma which has birthed an empowerment and freedom in my soul,: it is all Tantra. When I try to explain Tantra I always smile and say:
It’s love, it’s connection, higher consciousness, freedom, peace, juicy womb space power!!!" My first business in Australia was called Love Life Wellness because I wanted people to love their life. Now it is with the intention to Empower, Heal deeply and Release one’s inner God / Goddess regardless of gender or sexuality and to use that to be fully free and in expression of their true, highest and divine self.
Additional text since becoming a practitioner:
This, to me, is Tantra. The all encompassing Spirit & Love that resides within us all. It is our connection to ourselves, to others and the world we live in (and the cosmos beyond). Our birthright to express and feel pleasure through our sensuality & sexuality. For it is our Powerhouse of manifestation magic, Creativity & the Core of our being.
When we Harness our own power of sexual Chi, we can heal our bodies, increase our immunity, send love to ourselves and all others in a wholesome, ethical & magical way.
Tantra is Connection
Tantra is Full Freedom
Tantra is Divine Love